Bliss

So this. this is what it’s supposed to be like.

I have found the one where it feels like two puzzle pieces fit perfectly after a long search to find them to complete the beautiful puzzle. Our puzzle pieces come with small pictures inside of us, our history, which has made us admire the perfect fit.

The picture inside of her shows a broken hearted girl with walls built up so no one can hurt her again. Sadness from family issues. Great love for people from losing a loved one. Failed relationships. All of this has prepared her for him.

His picture is without struggle but something that shines brightly through is his heart and his sense of humor. Something about his soul and hers collide and are stitched from the same material. His mind feels like one of he greats. His smile could make her smile on the darkest of days and feel safe through all her doubts conceived from prior experiences. His way of communicating and loving her has silenced her fears which has never been done before. He is the home she has been looking for.

It may be early, but the feeling I have with him are ones I never thought I could feel again, or even feel emotions more than I ever felt before. How could two completely different people also be two of the same souls. Thinking about the future with another being is no longer frightening or have me push them away. I am excited for the future, and I want to pull him closer so I can admire him and never let go. I am not afraid of the future with him, I am afraid of future without him. That is a beautiful thing I never thought I would ever feel.

Cheers to the {potential} future with the one my soul has been searching for.

Thank you God for answering my prayers.

 

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5 things people never tell you about being 22…

1. PRESSURE

Pressure to have everything figured out. Pressure to be engaged, married, or even having kids. Pressure to have a big girl job. Pressure to be financially stable. Pressure to be happy. Pressure to be mature. Pressure to be having the time of your life. Pressure to be healthy and in shape. Pressure. Pressure. Pressure. UNREALISTIC pressure. 

Being 22 has held so many different types of pressure that I feel almost everyday. It’s rarely said to feel this pressure but believe me it’s felt. I can’t even begin to tell you the amount of my friends my age who are engaged, married, or have kids. Okay, maybe I am not innocent in feeling this pressure because I have always thought that I would be engaged or married by the time I was 22 or 23. I have thought that I came close to finding that man and that’s what makes it even harder to be 101% single at 22. Maybe I don’t want to be married now because I am figuring out my life, but still the bittersweet feeling comes over me when another one of my friends get married or engaged. The problem with all of these pressure topics is that it’s important that we don’t fall into these pressures and let them affect us negatively. We are all on our own separate journey of life and we are in no competition or race against anyone but ourselves. 

2. School sucks but it is worth it

I know, I know, not all of us 22 year olds are in school but for those who are… it really sucks. Of course, college is supposedly the best time of our lives and although I agree with that for the most part… the school part gets in the way of the fun haha. I know we are in college to learn and get an education for our future careers and we are fortunate to be able to attend college it can in fact suck. But think about how amazing it will feel when you walk across that stage and be done. You may not be done with college in 4 years, it can take 5, 6, or even 9 years but it will be worth it. The best part? You did it. You put in all those crazy hours of studying, wrote a million essays, took thousands of tests and quizzes… but YOU did it. No one else but yourself. How cool and relieving is that? So if you graduated on time, congratulations I am very proud of you. But if you are taking longer than your peers… remember you are in no race and regardless of how long it takes, it is a HUGE accomplishment.

 

3. Poor. Broke & Ramen noodle.

Being 22 is fun. You can go out to the bars and get those 25 cent drinks on college night but being able to afford regular priced booze or even the McDonalds after the bars is the hard part of being 22. Being poor is apart of being an “young adult” and it blows but completely normal. If you are 22 and are financially stable… how? Without my amazing dad helping me out when I am in a rut, I don’t think I would be able to survive. Being a broke 22 year old makes me want to be done with school and be able to provide for myself even more. But this is not something that I think I am the only one… so ya, I wish you “adults” warned us about this. If they did warn me, I probably would’ve said no to adulting if I knew how real the struggle really was.


4. Relationships are a hit or miss

Speaking from a girls perspective, boys in this age group either come on wayyyy too fast, or they just want to hook up and have nothing to do with a relationship so I am confused to which is worse. I feel like since I am 22, I need to be in a relationship with someone I can see marrying since I am at that age and being in one for fun is a waste of time. Not to say my previous relationships when I was younger were for fun because I have always gone into relationships with the thoughts of a future… but its different now. I think guys my age (that song is my jam) for the most part want to have fun in college and not settle down which is fine because I am not completely ready to settle down unless I find Mr. Perfect. But ya, relationships at this age, as I am sure in any age, is freaking complicated af.

5. You will lose friends

This one is near to my heart because it is such a difficult part of being in your twenties. I have learned that the friends you once were around 24/7 in your teens have suddenly become a beautiful part of your past. From my own personal experience, once I started college and I started to experience new things and grow up essentially… I found that some of my old friends who hadn’t taken the same steps like college or tried to be independent… I guess I had essentially outgrown them. This is not to be spiteful or to portray that I feel I am any better than these people, it’s just a part of life. I will always love these friends that I have moved on from and friend breakups are really f-ing hard but I know it’s part of being in your twenties. This doesn’t mean that us 22 year olds will never reconnect with these people but we will lose friends for this chapter of our lives.

Who is Katie?

My name is Katie, just your typical 22 year old girl trying to find her way through this crazy thing we call life. My life revolves around school, my family, and lacrosse. I love the Red Sox, Patriots, and you’ll see me happiest watching any baseball game with a beer in hand with my loved ones.

     I go to school at a small, private, liberal arts school in Nebraska. I have completely fallen in love with the town that I live in for school and I consider it my true home. I have the most amazing friends at school and I can’t imagine how my life is going to change once I decide where I want to go to graduate school. I will be hopefully attending graduate school in the fall semester of 2018 but this is riding on how well I do on my GRE in February (AH!).  My ultimate career goal is to be a child and adolescent psychiatrist and to really focus on “at risk” teenagers so I can help this ever rising suicide statistic. My career and life goal stems from Austin, my best friend at 3 years old, tragically taking his life while we were in high school. After his passing I went through a whirlwind of emotions, that I am sure I will touch on sometime in this blog. But long story short, I want to try and prevent anyone from going through that. As far as relationships go, I have been very unsuccessful as I am as single as one can be. I hope to find the man of my dreams but as of right now, I am going to focus on myself and let God bring me to my guy when the timing is right. What else can I tell you about myself? I am a night owl, Harry Styles future wife, 20 piece chicken nugget addict, dog loving girl who has no idea what she is doing… can anyone else relate to that?

     My family is extremely important to me, but like all families we have our differences and crazy pasts. I have two brothers, Tyler is 26, and Spencer is 17. Tyler is an amazing, talented, and smart guy who I feel very blessed to be related to. Tyler is an extremely talented lacrosse player, he is on a semi pro lacrosse team (but I see a pro status in his future) and he is also one of Spencer’s high school lacrosse coaches. Tyler is what you imagine when you think of an all around guy or even person for that matter, which is extremely hard to follow in those footsteps. Spencer is one of the funniest, also talented, and sweetest boys you could meet. Spencer (which I call Buddy) is my best friend and seeing him grow up into this man he has is amazing. He is a varsity lacrosse player at one of the top high schools in Colorado, he is coached by some of the most knowledgeable coaches I have ever seen. Spencer always brings light into my life and always knows how to make everyone laugh. What a true honor it is to be his big sister. Now going onto my dad, I am a true definition of a daddy’s girl and I am proud of it. I know a ton of daughters feel lucky to have their dad but I am so indescribably blessed to have him.  He is the purest form of selfless. I consider him one of my best friends and as we all wish our best friends happiness, therefore I am so delighted that he reconnected with his high school sweetheart five years ago and she makes him the happiest I have ever seen. Joan is the perfect fit to our crazy family and she is so calm and collected and an anchor and that is what I feel we have been missing.

     I have issues that I feel you can relate to, and I hope that I can write something that you can personally relate to and can help shed some light on the topic to help you. So come and read weekly thoughts I have and what is weighing on my heart. But feel free to send me anything you like and I will do my best to respond promptly.

 Love all of you xx.